The Humor in a Bad Situation

When I found out that I had an incurable disease, I worried about revealing it to others because I did not want to be seen as fragile, sick, or dying.  Now that I have shared my news, I guess I thought things would be different.  Things are not.  My friends still have every bit of confidence that I can run another marathon with them, I am still treated as if I am stronger than I am, and I am still the one everyone seeks advice from when they are going through something difficult.  I continue to lead my small group at church because I want it to continue and someone needs to do the work.  My small group is a safe place where I can just be broken and accepted but even at this place, I am not seen as broken and incurable.  This is what I wanted.  I did not want to be treated differently but I sometimes think that my will to be strong has resulted in an isolated journey. Sometimes, I am ok with that.  Other times, I am not.  Mother doesn’t understand. Husband is asleep. Wine helps.